


Reminiscing

by cymanda



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 17:32:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2741051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cymanda/pseuds/cymanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh god, this was actually happening, they both thought in unison. This is definitely reality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reminiscing

The moments where he could like next to him on their shared tiny bed, not speaking, not moving, not even touching, just staring up at the ceiling and breathing - those were some of his favorite moments. Hide never asked why he loved them so much, just followed his lead and stared up at the blank white, (except for that single long crack near a corner - but they didn't speak of that, ever) and breathed, long and deep, until he fell asleep - which he always did. And there were certain things Kaneki only realized during moments like this.

Hey," he said, breaking their comfortable silence, "thanks."

"Mmm?" Hide was drowsy, it was in his voice and in how slowly he turned over to face the boy next to him –  who was smiling softly, to his surprise.

"Thanks for...sticking around."

Hide hummed and scooted closer. Kaneki wrapped an arm around him and nuzzled his hair.  After a few moments of silence, Hide spoke up again.

"I'm glad you told me, you know. I didn't know what I was gonna do if you didn't tell me eventually."

"It could have been a little more elegant though, couldn't it have been?" 

Hide gave a wry smile. "You're not wrong."

\---

It was a breezy day, just cold enough to need a jacket, and they were at the same bookstore that Kaneki had met _her_. He figured it was appropriate for the idiotic thing he was about to do.

Touka's words rang in his mind. "If he finds out," she had warned, "I'll kill him."

 _If you kill him,_ Kaneki found himself thinking to himself, _I'll kill you._ And it really wasn't an appropriate thought, not at all, because he could never do it, Touka was too kind to him, but -

Hide was looking at him nervously.

"Eh, Kaneki? What was that?"

"A-ah, nothing! Nothing, I...I didn't say anything."

Hide raised an eyebrow, but after a moment shrugged. "So," he started, "is this the bookstore where -"

"Yeah," Kaneki said quickly, grabbing at the string of his eyepatch and twirling it, "yeah."

"Are you okay being here? I mean, it's gotta bring back memories, right..?"

"I'm fine," Kaneki said quietly, "I'm okay."

Hide nodded. "What kinda book are you getting today? I might get it, too. Wanna understand what you're always blabbing about." He said. But the reason - I want no need some reason to talk to you, I'm worried, worried worried worried worried rabbits can die if they get too lonely you know - went unsaid. 

Thankfully, Kaneki Got It.

"It's a new Takatsuki Sen novel," he said slowly, "it's about ghouls."

"Eh, really? That sounds interesting."

"Mhm. Reviewers have been saying it's one of her best."

"Barely surprising. So much material for a novel like that...I wonder if she got info from the CCG, somehow."

Kaneki tensed at the mention of the organization. "Maybe, maybe not," he paused, then spoke quickly, under his breath, "I-I have something to tell you, I-"

"Kaneki," Hide cut him off, "I dunno what it is, but is a public bookstore the right place to tell me it in?" Kaneki paused, stopped breathing for a second, then shook his head. "I'll walk you home after this - tell me there, okay?"

Kaneki nodded and swallowed. Great. Phenomenal. Fantastic. 

He was absolutely terrified. 

They bought two copies of the novel and walked back to Kaneki's place in relative silence. When they were almost there, Kaneki's stomach growled. Hide looked down and snickered. "Someone's hungry."

Kaneki laughed awkwardly. "I'll eat once we get home." Hide hummed and led the way.

 

They walked into Kaneki's apartment. It was an absolute mess. Hide's stomach dropped to see all the clutter, the random objects left thrown around and - dear god, was his bed unmade?

What happened to this poor kid?

"So," Hide prompted, eyeing Kaneki seriously. The other was fiddling with a coffee machine - actually, that counter looked pretty clean - and once it was turned on and working, he looked back at Hide.

"So."

"You wanted to tell me something."

Kaneki nodded and looked down at his shoes, trying to figure out how to word this.

"So I have an eyepatch, right..?"

 _Oh god, this was actually happening, they_ both thought in unison, _this is reality._

"Yeah, you said that after the accident, you...you were blind in it."

Kaneki nodded and sighed. "I-I lied."

"I figured." Hide said honestly. "What really happened?"

"Promise you won't..."

"Won't what?"

"Hate me?"

Hide blinked. "What?"

"Promise you won't hate me a-and if you leave and...promise me you won't t-think I'm a monster, because I'll never...I'm not..."

"Kaneki," Hide said slowly, soothingly, taking a step closer, "I could never hate you, and I'm pretty sure no matter what's under that eyepatch is going to turn you into some kind of monster - you're too busy being a nerd."

Kaneki took a deep breath and took the eyepatch off, and -

"O-oh my god." Hide breathed, frozen in place.

"I-I'm not going to hurt you," Kaneki promised desperately, moving away from Hide, pressing himself against the counter, looking down.

"Kaneki -"

"I-I know you probably hate me or you want to take back everything you just said and I know this isn't really something you can just ignore but I thought you deserved to know so -"

"Kaneki -"

"Y-you don't have to say it, I already know, just, just leave before I do something stupid and I regret this, Hide, I don't want to hurt -"

"Kaneki -"

"Stop smiling, this isn't funny! Just go, just go, please, just go!"

"Kaneki, I'm not leaving!" Hide was about to start laughing at this point. "Kaneki, I already knew."

Kaneki froze.

"I...what?"

"I heard you and the manager talking about it. Is everyone at Anteiku -"

"Y-yes, but they're all nice, kind, good people, don't -"

"I didn't consider it. They helped both of us." He smiled. "I'd be dead, you'd be starving," - Kaneki's stomach growled again - "and speaking of..."

"Don't worry we have little...little sugar cube type things for it, we put it in coffee - that still tastes nice, for some reason..."

Hide nodded. "This is insightful."

"Is that all you have to say?" Kaneki was still nervous, poor thing.

"What else is there to say? You're still Kaneki, I'm still Hide. Only difference is that now I really have to make sure you're eating."

He winked.

\---

Hide sat up on the bed, looked down at the white-haired boy besides him. "Definitely could have been worse, though."

Kaneki sat up, too. "Agreed."

A knock sounded at the door. "Kaneki, you said we would be training today! It's already well into the afternoon, how much time do you intend to intend to spend with that boy?!"

"He knows I'm in here," Hide mused, "but he ignores me completely. You think he's jealous?"

Kaneki stood up and stretched with a few sighs - and broke a finger. "I wouldn't be surprised."

"I'm gonna do some work with Hinami today. Join us later, if you can. You're a much better teacher than I am."

Kaneki leaned down and ruffled his spiky hair. "Only if you let me give you a haircut soon."

Hide whined. "Why? Banjou got to keep his signature curly swirly beard-thing!"

"Banjou's a ghoul that no one's looking for. You, on the other hand -" he flicked Hide's forehead "- have the cops after you, dummy."

"Hmph. Fine," Hide pouted. "Don't make it bad, though."

"I have a plan, don't worry."

Another knock at the door. "Kaneki!"

Kaneki opened the door and flicked Tsukiyama in the nose.

Hide grinned.


End file.
